In Pursuit of Nuances

is it possible to be 80-90% in love with someone but not 100%? or am i self sabotaging myself?

what is that? i remember the awe i felt when we first met. i remember his exceeding kindness, generosity, and the way his presence magnified mine. the affection. the quiet togetherness, my inability to express warning bells, falling in step and slipping hands in between steel structures and brick walls.

most of all: the beauty of the in-between.   

when my paths cross with such people whose humanness, brilliance, and generosity is so significant, i can’t help but wonder…”why me?” 

don’t compromise on love my heart says. don’t fall in love with the ideal he says. but…why me? i still don’t know if it’s my fear or my true self holding me back. 

sewn to my skin are ashes of a splintered heart. the structures we lean on are often unreliable, summer confesses that we’re not of the age for this drivel. uncensored love sculpts us into a mirror. catch my breath and hold it? we’re not immune from endings or new beginnings.